Last night was fun, hanging out with the ole’ high school gang… I suppose that moniker could stand up to an update, but it’ll have to do. We hung out and talked over pizza and IBC root-beer. I did an informal survey and most of us were planning on pursuing some form of Master’s level education. Of course, all such plans can’t take into account “life variables,” as we termed them, but it is neat to see the vastly differing directions that my friends are taking. Accounting, engineering, architecture, ministry… I could keep on listing. We are each going different directions, yet still find a couple of times a year to catch up, I’m glad that I could go.

Of course there was plenty of small talk, but the most significant conversation of the evening revolved around one of my friends at OSU and the “creep” of anti-Christian sentiment, especially from the homosexual groups on campus. Attending a Christian school it is easy to lose sight of how different secular culture is. Some of the situations described are tough… when do we, as Christians, stand up and fight for our “rights?” I honestly don’t know the answer. There needs to be a balance between that and the effective witness of these organizations and the individuals that make them up. If they stand and fight they would bring down the rhetoric of the liberal voices. This is exactly why we need Christian thinkers, not just a handful writing books here and there, but permeating society. These issues are difficult to bear alone and those that choose to have my respect. How can I help my fellow believers in these situations? Obviously I will pray for them, but as someone studying the Bible and theology I can’t shake the sense that there must be something else that can be done. Perhaps it is not my place and/or calling. Perhaps someone else will be used specifically by God.

These situations gave me a lot to think of on my ride home. I couldn’t think too much about it, though. I had to focus on keeping my car under control. I left my friend’s house about midnight, unfortunately it had snowed and the wet roads had black ice in places; the crews that are normally out spreading salt and sand didn’t venture out. I like driving in slick conditions when no-one else is around, it’s fun to do doughnuts in an abandoned parking lot or to fish-tail when going around a corner. However, when you are on the interstate and the car starts to slip, well, it can be a bit disconcerting. Fortunately, God provided traveling mercies to me, although it took me an hour and 15 minutes to go what normally takes me 45 minutes (one of the disadvantages of a Christian high school, all those friends are a ways away from me).

Well, I don’t claim to have answers to the issues facing my brothers and sisters in Christ in the secular university, but I wish the best for them and I am praying.

Ah, Thanksgiving, a time of food, family, and interesting happenings.

Let me offer this proof of how small the world is. My cousin's fiancée is finishing her college education, she is an education major. Well, she was at the house today with my cousin for Thanksgiving. She mentioned that she was taking a Christian ethics course via correspondence with another school, not the one that I attend. Something went off in my mind and I asked her what the prof’s name was. Well, as it turns out she has the same prof for ethics that I do. He commutes in from another state and teaches distance ed course for this other school. What are the odds, same prof, two different schools? Seems that they are pretty remote.

Well, beside that bit of excitement, this Thanksgiving has been fairly usual. I had a good talk with my dad last night when my mother and sister went out to shop. It was good to let him know how I was doing in school, personally, and talk about my future plans. I respect my father very much. I thank God for him. Yes, there are things that I don’t see eye to eye with him on, but I’ve never had occasion to doubt his sincerity or love for me. I trust him explicitly.

I’m also excited about tomorrow. No, I don’t have plans to hit the stores at 6 AM, although my sister was scoping out the ads in the paper today. I will be asleep when she leaves. Later in the evening I will be getting together with some old high school friends of mine. I still keep in occasional contact with them, but it’ll be nice to catch up on where the Lord is leading each one of them. We’ll also have a lot to talk about with our high school changing colors, mascot/nickname, and most importantly – location. It feels like some of the ole’ roots are being pulled.

Well, this has been a random entry… not too much time to focus on a single theme. I am enjoying Thanksgiving very much, I hope that anyone who reads this is/did too.

ETS Reflection

A thick folder lies on my desk in front of me. In it are all the copies of papers that I picked up at ETS. Most are fairly plain looking papers, white paper and black ink, standard stuff. Then, there is this bright yellow paper, radiant among the “normal” papers.

Yes, this paper is set off by its color, however it also mocks me. Of all the papers I went to this one was the hardest to follow during when I heard it. The title? “Logos and Logic: Reflections on How Thinking Can (and Ought To) Be Christocentric” It was written by Edward Martin, a philosophy professor at Liberty University. The concept of relations was heavily utilized among other items of logic.

Despite the fact that I had trouble following this paper it is an intriguing one. As I’ve skimmed it for further reflection I don’t get the idea that it is impossibly above me. Instead I am excited about the possibilities and refining of my thinking that can come from the reading of it.

That is why I am here at college studying the Scriptures, why I went off to Atlanta to attend this conference. Being a good thinker is critical to the Great Commission laid out at the end of Matthew’s gospel. It is easy to become lax here at school, to fall into the daily grind and only go through the motions. But, when I put myself in stretching situations I can grow. When I reread this yellow paper I will understand it better than when I first heard it. Will I get all of it? Probably not. Yet, each step forward allows my thinking to be more consistent and my spiritual walk to grow.

The funny thing is the more I peer into the vast expanse that is scholarship, the more I realize that there is so much out there that I will not know and learn, even if I study all my life. It is a humbling prospect. In high school you tend to think that you know everything. It takes an education to realize how little you know. Some may pull back at the prospect of this moving forward without a visible ceiling, but it makes me want to reach as far as God sees fit to let me go.

I came to school with the idea that I wanted to enter “the ministry.” It was a nebulous idea(l), a field of service that would most likely end up in the pastorate somewhere. Yet, as I move on I realize that I want to be much more than a pastor, I want to be a scholar. (who knows, perhaps I'll be both) Yes, people have called me that here at school, but no, I’m not. At least, not yet. This school, no the evangelical world is full of my peers who cannot or who will not think (I suspect the later to be the case). It frustrates me. We are called to love God with all of our being, mind included.

So, when I look at the journey ahead, it does intimidate me. It will be one both difficult and long. Yet, I trust that it will be one that honors God and furthers his kingdom.

I had a thoroughly good time at ETS this past week. The experience is a hard one to package into words. The format was very much like last year. I had a schedule of paper titles. Each day I would rummage through the schedule, looking for titles that intrigued me. Unfortunately, there were a lot of papers that I wanted to go to the first day but because I can’t be in two places at, obviously, I couldn’t get to all of them. As the conference winded down the number of papers that caught my eye decreased. I found myself wishing that I could rearrange the schedule so that I could make it to all the interesting paper titles.

The best paper I went to was called “The search for the Hysterical Jesus: Harbingers of a Diminished Orthodoxy and an Ecclesiology from Below.” The general idea of the paper is that churches are shifting from providing a solid theological basis to what they do to a largely emotional and performance appeal to draw people into church. Church then becomes performance based and there is little to no substance to the church’s faith. This paper was also enhanced by the use of humor and pop-culture references to make their point.

Unfortunately, most of the papers are devoid of humor. Now, this is not a big critique. The goal of the sessions is to spread ideas and promote discussion. Academics are not stand up comedians. However, when a scholar takes the time to insert some sly wit in a paper it is much appreciated.

I learned a lot this week. It will take me a while to process all the ideas that came my way. I attended papers on Dispensationalism, C.S. Lewis, Ezekiel, Spiritual Formation, Ethics, Jonathan Edwards, Patristic Fathers, Philosophy, and the list could continue. Most of the sessions that I attended provided hard copies of the papers that were read. This will allow me to revisit those ideas so I can evaluate them. There is also a system that I can request papers to be emailed to me.

While the theme of this year’s conference was Jesus, open theism was a huge issue at the conference. Briefly, open theism believes that God, for the sake of relationship and giving humans free will, has limited his knowledge of the future. Two authors, Clark Pinnock and John Sanders were under fire for comments that they made regarding prophecy. Their accusers felt that their position denied the inerrancy of scripture, which is included in the societies statement of faith. It came to a vote and they were not excluded, although one of them, Sanders came close to expulsion/excommunication.

I would love to write more, however I am very tired after the long ride back from Atlanta today. No doubt I will continue reflecting on this on posts to come.

Tomorrow I will be getting up dark n' early; bright and early doesn't work because the sun is definitely not up at 4:00 AM. You may ask, why would I be getting up that early? I am leaving at 5 that morning for Atlanta, GA for the annual meeting of the Evangelical Theological Society. Yes, it is a theological conference.

So, what happens at these conferences? A bunch of really smart theologians read papers that they have prepared and then there is interaction and debate around the ideas presented. Oh, and I shouldn't forget the books. Just about every major Christian publisher will be there offering their books at 50% off list price, I will be spending way too much money this week :).

I went last year and it was a stretching and enjoyable time for me. I went last year mostly because of a friend's influence. After he convinced me to go it turned out that he couldn't make it. Ironic, isn't it? There I was challenged by the level that the presenters were thinking at. It made me want to be able to think like that. I have a long way to go, but I look forward to the journey.

So I will be challenged this week to be more intellectually rigorous and I will feel like a kid in a candy store, with lots of topics that I want to hear about and more books to buy than resources allow.

My freshman year of college I started to attend a local church. The first or second week that I attended it was announced in the Sunday school class that there was an opening for a weekend custodian. I had not lined up any employment at the time, so I was interested. I spoke to the youth pastor but I wasn’t certain if custodial work was what I wanted to do. I hemmed and hawed between applying for the job and just letting it slide. Then I heard someone else asking about the job. That lit a fire under me. I called and met with an associate pastor. I left the church with a set of keys. If you think about it, it is somewhat ironic. After three weeks or so of attending this church, they give me keys that will open every door!

As I look at various decisions in my life, I laugh at myself. Sometimes I can be so indecisive. The things that make a person get up off their rear and move are revealing about what makes that person tick. However, this wasn’t what I set off to comment on for this entry. What makes me tick will have to come out in bits and pieces.

The reason why I started about my job is because I want to comment on it. I am in my third year of cleaning the church and the Christian elementary school that is one of the church’s ministries. There are days that I am, frankly, tired of that job. I frequently have to keep my weekends, Friday nights and Saturday mornings fairly free and clear of activities so I can get the job done. There have been days that I have thought very seriously about quitting this particular job. I have a campus job also. It would not be as if my income would stop if I did.

However, there are a couple of things that keep me vacuuming those floors, taking out trash, and the dealing with unexpected restroom complications. First, I honestly do consider this job a ministry. I am paid for this, but working on weekends is not a position that is easy to fill. Second, I would be dishonest if I didn’t admit that the paycheck is another reason for staying. Third, this job gives me time to think.

I know that music is a huge part of my generation’s psyche. I constantly see my peers with headphones on and the music blares here in the dorm. I used to listen to music while I cleaned, but then I stopped. With the quiet and solitude that I often have from being in the building alone I can think. Just this evening I was cleaning and musing about the details of this week. The time alone allows me to examine myself.

Do I spend my time in a philosophical/theological daze? Is my attitude always correct? No, I must admit that there are times when I am muttering because of a particularly big mess.

I think back to an experience that I had last year that has transformed this job for me. I came across a friend who was working in the library. His assigned task was to go through a section of the stacks and look at each book to make certain that they were still in order. I was a bit dismayed at the tedious nature of that task and I mentioned it to him. His response has helped to shape my thinking about my current job. He told me that although this task was monotonous that he looked at it as an act of worship to God.

I was taken aback, even a bit ashamed of my initial comment. His good attitude amazed me. Serving God doesn’t require some big and interesting scheme. Serving and worshiping God can be as simple as scrubbing a toilet or trying to get candle wax out of carpet.

So, whenever my job gets me down, I try to remember that it too can be an act of worship and service.

One of the blessings (or trials, depends on when you ask me) of studying God's word here at college is the Greek experience. The first two semesters were a real challenge. Rules of grammar seemed to lurk around every corner. There seemed to be thousands of little details that needed to be remembered, to be exactly replicated in some paradigm on a stress-filled midterm or final. If I had not needed a third semester of Greek to graduate I probably would have said "Enough!" and be settled to read my English Bible and never think of Greek again.

However, I am so glad that I had to take this third semester. When I was entrenched in learning the basics of Greek grammar, it was just that, grammar. Sure, our examples were drawn from the text of the Bible, but they came out in single sentences or fragments of sentences. Devoid of context those words of truth seemed to be a little less important... but they couldn't be any less important they were the Word of God... yet it was hard to get into Greek.

This semester is different! We are working through 1st John right now. We are digging through a text that is true, that still has power to speak to us today. It's exciting! Anyone who has had studied a second language knows that translation is not a word for word thing. There can be multiple options in how to render a word. It is an incredible feeling to hold two decisions in either hand and say as Tevye in Fiddler On the Roof said, "On the one hand... but on the other hand..." It is an awesome responsibility to handle correctly the word of God. Yet, that responsibility has become fun. Sounds crazy, no? But it is fun, difficult, and stimulating all at the same time.

So, I went from thinking about taking as little Greek as I could to graduate, to working hard to figure out how in the world I could possibly fit in another semester while I was in college. This change in me speaks to a lot of things, but I think that it speaks to the awesome power of God's word the most.

*disclaimer* I am not saying that one needs a knowledge of Greek and/or Hebrew to properly handle scripture, but it is a big help in doing so and if you have the opportunity to learn a biblical language, take it!

"Those who say that they believe in God and yet neither love nor fear him, do not in fact believe in him but in those who have taught them that God exists. Those who believe that they believe in God, but without any passion in their heart, any anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt (emphasis mine), without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God-idea, not in God."
-Miguel De Unamuno

So, what place does doubt have in the Christian faith? I think that many Christians fear it. There is pressure at times to have everything figured out, to have total confidence.

Well, I think that's impossible. If God can be totally understood by me then HE IS NOT GOD. He is just another being that is within my grasp, something that can theoretically be controlled. However, if he is transcendent, beyond me, then I cannot understand him completely. Thus, doubt is not the opposite of faith but an integral part of it! By being able to say "I don't know, I don't understand" and still believe, doesn't that say more than if I got it all.

I must nuance this, doubt can be destructive; it can rip a person from the faith. However, when doubt is honestly admitted and wrestled with I think it can be a very good thing.

To understand perfectly removes all possibility of faith.

So, why did I pick a blog title with such a blatant Christian/religious theme to it?

Well, I have been thinking of late how, if a person is a follower of Christ, that should have an impact on every area of his or her life. True Christianity is about a relationship with God that reaches to every fiber of a person's being. It becomes a part of the definition of who I am. It's not to be something that I simply do.

With that in mind, I am painfully aware of how selfish I can be at times. Often, I behave as if the world revolves around me. It doesn't. Scripture says that all things were created by and for Christ. So, here at a Christian college, I encounter people who's speech is continually flavored by phrases such as, "praise God" or constantly attributing things to God. Then, I examine my speech and thoughts. I am forced to conclude that I don't talk or think about God nearly (in my estimation) enough. Am I saying that every conversation that I have needs to touch on God in some way, shape, or form? No. However, I am saying that unless I am consciously looking for God, and seeking to live my life as a continual act of worship and service to God I will miss the point.

Therefore, this blog (at least at this time) is a tool that I can be reminded every time that I post to it, keep my Creator in mind. Perhaps, as I do it in this context it will spill over into verbal speech more and more.

The question of the day was, "So, are you glad that it's over?" (regarding the play) This was the inquiry that was posed to me multiple times today... I think it was over half a dozen. Although, I suppose it would be more fun to slip into hyperbole and say that a million people asked me that. But I won't.

So, am I glad?

Yes and No.

Yes, I will not miss the long hours that has consumed my life, especially these past two or three weeks where I was spending almost 4+ hours a day working on the play in some fashion. I look forward to actually having some recreational time. Also, I can focus on getting ahead of my school work. (I'm sorry that all you procrastinators want to kill me right now, but that's just the way I am)

No, I will miss the friendships that I deepened and formed with the show. I'll miss the opportunity to shoot off a prayer with someone just before the show starts. I'll miss swapping stories of theatrical exploits between scenes... or in my case during the entire first act while I sit and wait for act two to arrive. Yes, that context for relationship will be missed.

However, it is the nature of things to have life move on. Things change, that's the way that God made things. If everything remained static we'd have no opportunity to grow beyond where we are right now. I guess the challenge is to demonstrate that those friendships are really worth something by seeking a new, non-play context to continue growing them.

So overall, no, I am not sad that the play has passed. Rather, I am happy that I have an opportunity to grow.

One of the talents that God has given me is the ability to act. It is something that I really enjoy doing. I find that acting is both rewarding for the challenge and the relationships that are built during the course of a show. Well, I just finished a show this weekend, Little Women. Overall it was a good show. It was stretching because it was the first "romantic" part that I have ever played. However, the gal that I got to act with was very talented at it was a joy to work with her. I also got to forge friendships with a couple new people. This was very good. I find that in my third year of college my friends are more set than previously. It takes me more effort to make new ones because I already have a good number of them.

Just a word of play etiquette, if there is a receiving line after a show there are a few things that you should take in mind. 1) The actor is glad that you came 2) The actor is a bit exhausted after the show 3) unless you are the first person through the line the actor has heard very limited variation on "Good Job!" 4) Because of this limited variation the actor is likely tiring of hearing "Good Job!" Therefore, you might make his/her evening if you show creative compliments or constructive comments.

Well, I shall have to write further about Little Women at a later date. Above the fun and the friendships that I had during the show, I hope that the effort and the attitude that the show was approached with was honored and glorified God. His applause is the only thing that truly matters.